Right Where You Should Be
I remember coming home, long past 10, to a tiny closet marketed in New York as a "room" and dropping my bags and bursting into tears. I had just moved to New York, just broken off an engagement and could barely buy groceries. I was 23, flat broke, broken and I felt like an absolute failure. I remember sitting on the floor and thinking, "I thought I would be so much further by now."
Fast forward 4 years and I still hear that phrase pounding in my head ALL THE TIME. Every accomplishment is somehow overshadowed by that "well, I should have done it sooner." And then the funny thing was I started HEARING the phrase, from my friends, people my age, and other creatives. Everyone seems to be under this weight of, "I should have done so much more right now."
Well I have learned two things about all that recently: 1. You are right where you need to be 2. You don't have to stay there. Take a moment and think of all those times you failed. What happened after? What were the good things that happened because of that mistake? What were the bad? I can only speak from my experience but it goes a little something like this:
If I had never opened a business that I wasn't ready to handle... If I hadn't lost a relationship... if I
hadn't been put in the WORST financial situation possible... I never would have had the courage to move to NYC. If I hadn't moved to NYC there would be no EP, there would be no music, there would be no dreams. There would be no amazing friends and stories and connections I have been blessed with over the years. The very thing that made me feel that I should be "further by now" is the very thing that changed the course of my life that led to where I am now. And now, I look at that dark room, and I wouldn't change a thing.
So that night in the dark... I was in a place I didn't want to be, but it was right where I needed to be. So your place in the dark, might be where you need to be... for now. But YOU get to decide how the story is written from here. YOU get to decide the story you tell to your kids, or to your spouse when you are old. You and I are greater than the sum of all of our mistakes or accomplishments. Where you are now is building what you were meant to be. And you can build anything!